It was a typical morning...

...in the Zanzibar household. The children were puttering around the house, my wife was puttering around the kitchen.

We had just finished breakfast, and I had finished gathering up all the little things that they needed to take with them for that day.

I remember standing in my bedroom, reviewing my list in my head. I was in good shape. I was a bit ahead off my usual routine.

As happens so many times in my life, a thought appeared in my head that was a bit out of the normal. Nothing dramatic, just "Everything is all set to go, and I am early. Let's see what is on the news this morning".

I turned on the television. There on my screen, was an image of the World Trade Center. One of the towers looked like it was on fire. Tickers were running across the bottom of the screen, but I did not understand what it was I was looking at.

Then, as I was trying to make out what as going on, the camera on the TV moved focus, locking on to a airliner. I didn't understand why this was significant, so I watched.

I just watched as that airliner flew straight into the second tower.

Stunned is the only word I can think of to describe what I felt at that moment. Questions running through my head..What just happened? Why did that airliner just do that? and a thousand other questions.

I called my wife into the room, and told her what I just witnessed. She looked at the TV, then looked back at me with wide eyes, and I saw all the questions that she had run through her face.

From that point on, I was just numb. I was working at home full time at that time, so I spent the day keeping the TV on, listening to all the reports coming in. I felt like a zombie, just walking around, not really doing much, just trying to process all that I was seeing and hearing.

It is easy to say that day had a profound affect on me. I think that is a given.

You read about days like that day in history books, but there is something different about actually experiencing it, in each of our own personal ways.

I did not have anybody in my immediate family, or immediate circle of friends, that were killed on that day. But in my own way, I consider everybody as part of my extended family. I try and treat all that I meet and know, as if they were part of that extended family. So I did lose people that day, even though I had no idea who they were.

Did the events of that day change my life significantly? I don't think so. It may have clarified a few things, but my life is not significantly different now as it was on September 10th, 2001.

And for that, I would like to send out a monstrous thank you, to all the men and women who serve in our military.

Whether you think the actions overseas are warranted or not, it is THESE people, these VOLUNTEERS, that protect my way of life, and your way of life.

They literally "put their lives on the line" every day, so that we may have our "morning routines" and our "family traditions".

If you know someone who is currently serving, or has served in the military, please..today...Tell them that Aldwyn Zanzibar says "Thank you".

If YOU have served, or are serving...

THANK YOU!

May all of your sacrifices, not be made in vain.

I'm a Big Boy now!

I know it's silly...but up until recently, I rarely shopped for myself in SL. I should clarify that: for my avatar.

Every since I started in SL, I have had help, usually from people I cared about, and felt had a good sense of fashion. Plus I liked hearing a womans point of view.

But recently, I have been striking out on my own more and more. I have always had a "style", and there are just some things I will NOT wear, RL or SL. So even though I would not be able to DESCRIBE my "style", it is one of those "when I see it, I will know" kinda things.

I have had so many changes going on in my life recently that I felt the need to change my "look". Now, before I continue I should tell you, that I don't change my look easily. I get my avatar looking the way I want and I stick with it, because it takes a LOT of time and effort to find a complete look that I can live with, and actually like. So for me to change, it is a BIG deal.

So as I said, I have been "shopping" around. Looking at hair, skin, tattoos, etc. As most of you already know, the selection for men is not nearly as vast as the selections for women, which is fine because men just don't shop for different "looks" as much as women do (unless it's for a party or event or some special thing).

I actually like to shop, but shopping for my own avatar can get frustrating. I really made an effort to not let it get to me this time. I was patient, and kept at it until I found stuff I liked. I admit, I did ask for some help, but only on generalities, such as asking for LM's for tattoo shops and such. Everything that I changed, I picked out all by myself.

So, after all of that, here is what I ended up with: (Click for larger view)





After I put all this together, I decided to "double check" my work. (which is what I tell my children to do all the time). So I asked a few friends what they thought of my new look.

Here is what they said.

Ana Lutetia



Ana: I don't think you have done such a bad job. Your new look makes you look more mature. However (and this is purely a question of personal taste), I vote for 3 day beard skin and, even though I love tattoos, I prefer to see them beneath a shirt, a tee, tank or even a open shirt.

Al: Thanks Ana! Maybe next time I will take you with me..:)

Arcadia Nightfire




Arcadia: Wow. You know what I love most about your look? Your muscular but not in that overdone boxy way that we see so much of in SL. You look much more naturally muscular and toned. This is a shape begging to be photographed. ;)

Arcadia: Also, I must admit that I'm not generally a fan of facial hair but it works on your av. It definitely lends a bit of mystery and sex appeal to your look.

Al: I have been looking for a skin that had a good beard, and I was thrilled with I found this one. Thank you!

Clementine Ishtari



Clemintine: The new look is yummy! I <3 the facial hair, although I'm not usually a facial hair type of girl, but it works for you. You look different from most of the other male avs running around SL who all tend to look the same. Nice shape, not too bulky (cause we all know what too many muscles on a male avatar means) but not too scrawny. Over all? Great new look (tats.. nummy) with just enough uniqueness to make it your own. Three nipples, erm, thumbs up! :P

Al: Awww, thanks Clem! *checks to make sure HE does not have a third nipple

Luna Jubilee



Luna: I'm not one for beating around the bush... you, Al, are a fine hunk of pixelated man meat. The new you is not too shabby. Not that were hard on the eyes before ... but your change is for the better. I'm proud of you for going before so many of us for our thoughts and feedback. Not many can do that willingly ... unless you upt your dumbness. Regardless you're still Al! Luv ya! Great job on the make over :)

Al: Awww..thanks Luna!..I think (unsure)

Magen Jigsaw



Magen: The shape fits well with the skin, and hair. The tattoos are subtle and not too overpowering. Good build on the shape. All around good put together.

Al: :)...thanks! *goes back to SL situps

Risa Bright



Risa: Aldwyn's new look is a twist on the classically- rugged sort of handsomeness. The artistic tattoos are so intricately nuanced that they add an aesthetic sensibility. His new hair has the look of a precision cut that has grown out and now has a casual elegance. It is the new amped-up Aldwyn!

Al: That is quite an answer..Thanks Risa!

Rylan Carling



Rylan: "One of the sexiest men in SL...even after he went shopping alone! How many girls hit on you again while you were out shopping?"

Al: Oh..stop that...some more...;)

Strawberry Singh



Strawberry: I think you look cute, I'm not always a big fan of facial hair on men but it makes you look more manly and rugged. The tattoo is very nice, I like the faded colors and of course I love the jeans! :D Good job...you get a cookie! :P

Al: COOKIE! *nom nom nom. I love the jeans too! I have like 3 or 4 colors. Thanks Berry! *hugs

Given that I know that these women always look absolutly fantastic, I figured I better save myself a ton of questions about what they happen to be wearing, so here are the details.

Ana Lutetia is wearing...

.skin. *League* Skin Suntan -Misty- Emo (BT)
.eyes. :: Exodi :: Vetro Eyes (Grey)(Lg)(NoVeins)
.lashes. *Sin Skins* Fluff Lashes
.hair. fri. - Tabs - Jealous Red
.top. fri. - Boyfriend Beater (Gray) - Top | fri. - Henley Hoodie (Black)
.bottom. *League* Garage Jeans - Straight Leg Fit - Turquoise
.accessories. *No Mercy* Face Piercings | Zaara : Indra painted stacked bangles *silver* | Zaara : Sarayi hoops *color* silver | Reek - I Heart Colors Belt
.shoes. [0N] Engineer Boots Black
.poses. -AnaLu- *fresh poses* | Tillie’s Posing Stand

You can read Ana's blog here, and check out her awesome poses at her shop Here!

Arcadia Nightfire is wearing...

Skin: ::Exodi:: - Shiloh (Honey), Nosferatu
Eyes: ::Exodi:: - Zbilja Eyes, Blue
Hair: Argrace - Fedora Hat Glamourous Wavy, Amber
Manicure: Sin Skins - Glitter Manicure, Crimson
Shirt: Alphamale - Femme, Black
Skirt: Kyoot Army - Scarlet Mobstress Skirt, High Waisted
Corset: Kyoot Army - Austere Corset, Scarlet Stripes
Stockings: Reasonable Desires, Miss Kitty Burlesque Seamed Stockings (part of costume)
Shoes: Pixel Mode - AF Danger, Black (Laced)
Jewelry: Inks & Kinks - Diamond Nostril Stud
Balderdash - Jazz Funeral Merlot Set
Callie Cline - The Rock **Blogger Appreciation Gift**

You can read Arcadia's Fashion 360 blog Here

Clementine Ishtari is wearing...

Skin - *League* Skin Suntan -Misty- Bronzed
Hair - >TRUTH< Meara
Eyes - :: Exodi :: Zbilja Eyes
Eyelashes - Silhouette Lashes: BUTTERFLY
Jacket - **en Svale** Denim Jacket_Indigo
Sweater - Maitreya Savoir Turtleneck Top
Skirt - Maitreya Cleo Jeans Skirt
Boots - Jaywalk: Melisande
Belt - Maitreya Coin Belt

Clemintine has two blogs, which can be read Here and Here

Luna Jubilee is wearing....

hair: Magika Hair - Poof - Blonde A
eyes: CHAI Eyes +Allure+ [BLUE 1]
lashes: MADesigns EYELASHES ~ Diva
skin: LAQ ~ Carina 01 [Fair] Glow skin
jeans: **MIS** EveryDay Jeans - dark wash1
undershirt: [Pink] Di Tube Top (undershirt) - pearl
shirt: [Pink] Poppy Sheer Chiffon Blouse (GIFT) - light green
shoes: Maitreya Gold - IXkin Sienna
ring: ~flirt~ Pizazz Ring :: PLAT/DIA
bracelet: ZC : Sadaf shell bracelet *silver* (hand attach) R
pose: .:StoRin:. P11 Waiting
props: m.fox & Trompe L'oeil

Luna has a couple of blogs that you can find here and here. How she finds time for both when she spends sooo much time hassling me, I will never know!

Magen Jigsaw is wearing...

Hair Fri.Day-Deena
Eyes: Poetic Colors- Jungle
Top- ::EmJay::- Teal Off the shoulder top
Jeans- ::EmJay:: Super Dark Ripped Capris
Shoes- SoReals- Brown and Sky

Mags has a great little shop located Here. You should really check it out!

Risa Bright is wearing...

Skin: Laqroki Jessica 03 / Nougat
Hair: Analog Dog.... Lua in Cafe
Eyes: MADesigns: Soul Eyes Blue 5
Nail color: (Kunglers) Nail Polish - green
Skirt: LBD Nell Skirt/ turquoise
Top: Fashion Nomads Couture / "Noir" Underlayer
Boots: BAX Prestige Boots /Black with accent color customized to skirt
Stockings: Sheer Opaque Black
Bracelets: *al* Kiana Silks- Depth Bracelets (color customized to skirt)
Rings: Bandit Jewelers Lady Yellow Gold Combo

Risa does a ton of things in SL, so many that I can not even begin to list them, but I do know it centers around Kmadd mostly.

Rylan Carling is wearing...

Skirt: Nyte'N'Day - Vestige Skirt Spherule SD􀀂
Top:~*RunoRuno!~Hyperkinetic Dress Black􀀁
Jacket:.:Malt:. Fashions - SE Antique Gold Suede Jacket
Hair: TRUTH: Veronica - Black
Rings: Left - P.C; Times Squre Ring - Kyanite - Dark Blue
Right - PD Gemmed Kitty Ring
Boots: BAX Prestige Boots Black Leather

Rylan has a great blog here. You really need to have her on your "must read" list. :)

Strawberry Singh is wearing...

Skin: :: DUTCH TOUCH :: ::CleO:: Olive - Smokey w/freckles by Iki Ikarus
Eyes: Poetic Color Eyes - quicksilver medium by Lano Ling
Eyelashes: Cake - Bedroom Lashes by Stumbelina Ophelia
Hair: (Dernier Cri) Ella - Brown Shades by Asuka Martin
Top: ::EmJay:: Boyfriend Tank- Pink by Magen Jigsaw
Pants: -WMD-"Ronin" Hara Jeans Low Rise Ripped by Maruko Sakigake
Shoes: PornStar Hi-Tops MultiColor v2 by Coke Dreadlow
Bag: **Slanted Fox** Yummy Tote - Strawberry-Vanilla by Riki Yifu
Bangles: Zaara : Indra painted stacked bangles by Zaara Kohime
Necklace: by Zaara Kohime (coming soon)
Pose: Long Awkward Pose by Dove Swanson
Location: Zaara sim

You can read Strawberry's blog Here

She also manages, or something along those lines, over at {Zaara}, which really has some amazing clothes. Find them Here

I suppose since everybody else did, I should spill what I am wearing...

Skin: -Belleza- Jonas SK 6 (bald)
Eyes: Poetic Color Eyes - Ocean/Seaweed by Lano Ling
Shape: RAFAEL by .::MADDesigns:: version 2 (with a bit of custom work by me)
Hair: *ARGRACE* ~ Modern rail ~ (Black)
Tattoo: addiXion - VENOMOUS inkREAL
Pants: Zaara Classic Jeans for men *sky)
Shoes: you cannot see them, but [hoorenbeek] Patagonia Boots- Used Brown

How did this end up being a fashion blog entry? *shakes his head

(a HUGE thank you to all you ladies! You all ROCK!)

I know, I know

I have not been writing much lately. Even though I have been incredibly busy, I really miss writing, for many reasons.

I have had experiences and thoughts that I have been working through, and I might write about them, I might not. I might write about them, but never actually publish what I write, because honestly, nobody really cares about my little life, and nobody should, because it is MY life, and quite honestly, it is not that interesting.

I also have lots of neat items that I have either been given, or found in SL that I want to write about. I just have been a bit overwhelmed lately, but either I am just getting better at dealing with it all, or things are starting to settle down. Not sure which yet.

BUT.....

There is something that has been on my mind recently.

I have had this "concept" in my head for quite a while, something that I have observed in people for many many years, but have not really been able to crystallize down.

Many years ago, I worked for a software company. We had our engineering dept at one end of the building, and it was off limits to all personnel except the engineers. Pretty standard stuff.

One day, one of our new hires (not in engineering) came in, and told me that he could not work for us anymore. When I asked him why, he said that it was because it was obvious that we were doing illegal things in the "engineering dept" because otherwise why would nobody be allowed back there.

I just stared at him. I told him that if that was the way he felt, then he was making the right decision.

Just for disclosure, there was nothing illegal going on in there, just the development of a cutting edge software application. Since nobody had done what we were doing, it was important to keep it secure. It was that simple.

What made it even more interesting was I actually saw that persons name in the paper about 3 months later, for being arrested for fraud. Something about credit card numbers or something.

That experience kinda stuck with me. Not sure why, but it always stayed with me. Over time, I began to see an interesting pattern in people.

I have had many more experiences where somebody accused somebody I know of something that was totally off base, only later to find out that the person doing the accusing was actually doing the exact thing that they were accusing my friend of.

I have been trying to understand this phenomenon. Some people call it misdirection. A person is trying to deflect attention away from their own sins, by accusing other people of the same sins.

I think I have finally found a more appropriate description of it. It's called Psychological projection.

Psychological projection

Now obviously this is not 100%, but I have seen it so often in RL, and more and more in SL, where people accuse others of certain sins out of anger, or insecurity. Then come to find out, usually with proof behind it, that the accuser is either actually the guilty one, or at least just as guilty as the person they are accusing.

This is not to say that victims should not be taken seriously. I don't mean that at all. What I am saying is that there are many times, when the accuser needs to be looked at just as closely.

I really wonder, how much of this is happening out there. How much of this affects how people view the world. I know from my own RL, that my sister views the world as a crime ridden cesspool, because her husband is a police officer, and that is what she hears about all the time.

How much of our worldview, is solely based on how we view ourselves, and project outward, to maybe make ourselves feel normal?

Something for me to think about on my way home tonight. I have been told it's Taco night...so I will try not to think TOO much about it..:)

Investing...

I had never really considered myself an "investor" before. I had an image of a banker type, or someone with money to spare that would start to use that extra cash to invent in things. I never thought I was in any of those categories.

Recently it has become clear to me that I AM an investor. I would even argue that every single one of us are investors.

What do I mean by this? We invest in things every day. We invest time, energy, money, even ourselves into many different things in our lives.
We invest in ourselves (education), other people (partners, kids, friends), even causes (political, social).

If you have even done any reading on investing (which usually centers around the stock market), there is a theme that seems to carry through just about any book on the subject. One of the major rules of investing: Do not get emotionally involved in your investment.

Now while this is very good advise when dealing with the stock market, it is a bit different when you are investing in yourself, another person, your family, etc. It's almost impossible to NOT get emotionally invested when a family member is spirally down into a pit (of which there are many). You put your time, energy, and even money into that investment, many many times, with little hope for a return (the return of that family member to something better).

But we do get emotionally invested in many of these things. We pour our heart and soul into many of these "investments". We see it everyday, people getting married, starting a business, having children, finding a cause that excites us, etc. We devote ourselves to what ever it is, for us, at that time.

Then, something happens. A relationship changes, a business starts to crumble (or never really takes off), a family member moves down a wrong path, or a million other things. Many times, the signs are pretty clear. Heck, sometimes the signs can be screaming in your face, but we don't listen...we have too much invested to walk away. This is a crucial point. This is when things become almost dangerous.

When a decision is made to ride out a bad investment because "I have too much invested in this already" or "I know it will turn around, I just have to be patient", the potential for disaster really starts to grow. Decisions are made not on facts, history, trends, etc, they are made solely on wants, needs and fear. When decisions are based solely on wants, needs, and fear, the potential for gimongous (Yes, I said gimongous) disastrous events grows exponentially.

It doesn't always have to be a gimongous (I plan on using this word a lot, so get used to it) crash, but the potential is there. I have seen it happen around me, and to me quite a bit recently. I have seen RL businesses fail, RL families torn apart, SL relationship go nuclear, all because an investment went bad, and all the signs that were screaming out were ignored, or thought temporary.

Does this mean that we should not be emotionally involved in our investments? Not at all! Many investments actually require emotional involvement. I think we need to try and RECOGNIZE when our investment decisions are based purely on emotions, and when we are ignoring other facts, to our eventual detriment. Maybe we need to ask ourselves some harsh questions more often.

Maybe we need to remove the emotion from an investment, just for a few moments, to see what it looks like without it. Is this even possible? I honestly don't know. I do know, that after an investment has gone completely out, and you THEN look back, it's easy to see where it changed, where certain things SHOULD have been done, or a change in strategy MIGHT have actually lessened the loss, but wasn't done because of the "emotional" investment involved.

I do believe that any "investment" can be analysed from a purely unemotional viewpoint. Should all investment decisions be made this way? I don't think so, but I do think that it can be a healthy and productive part of any investment strategy. This seemingly simple step, might help keep your investment from causing harm, to you and those around you.

So there it is. I am an investor. You are an investor. You just don't know it yet.

Am I a good investor? Probably not yet. But recognizing something..is the first step.

The Big Bad Blogger Challenge!

So my good friend Alicia Chenaux came up with the Big Bad Blogger Challenge. I usually don't do blogger challenges for several reasons.

1. I don't really consider myself a "Blogger". I just play with toys and talk about them.

2. I usually don't have time to do them.

3. They are usually about girlie stuff, to which I usually dont have much to contribute to.

This particular challenge runs over several days, and I have seen several great entries for them. Again, I just have not had the time to keep up.

But today..for some reason, I got it into my head to do one of the themes: If there was someone you could trade places with for one day in Second Life, who would it be and why?

So here goes.



I would like to trade places with Truth Hawks for 1 whole day. Why? Let me 'splain.

1. It would be interesting to see what it would feel like to actually have talent!

2. I might get a sneak peak at his next work of amazing..and hold it over my friends heads for a little bit.

3. I might be able to influence him to make more GUY hair!

4. I would have is Avatar eat more...he is a SKINNY little dude!

5. I would upgrade his dances ...so I dont have to keep adding him to my Huddles

6. Being Truth for a day, would give me a break from my stalker.

So, as I log in as Truth, I weed through ALL the messages he gets, I scan the "in process" folders for unreleased stuff, then start to peruse down his friends list. That is when I see it! My stalker...IS ON HIS LIST TOO! *facepalms

Damn..well, 5 out of 6 ain't bad!

*thanks to Truth for indulging me with this little lark AND...thanks to the Amazing Rylan, for not only thinking I am crazy...but for helping me with the pic when I was getting frustrated!

So it's only "a game"...

I my previous post, I laid out 3 "types" of people that inhabit the world of Second Life. In the third type, I referred the the phrase "It's only a game". I have heard this phrase used about Second Life many times, and it always confused me a bit, mostly because I don't consider it "Just a game". Tonight, I had a small epiphany.

A game is a game. Poker, Chess, Football, Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, Nascar, Barrel Rolling, Downhill Shovel Racing, and even Politics are all games. Some games have higher stakes than others, but when it gets right down to it, its ALL, "just a game". The difference is how much energy each player puts into whatever "game" they are playing. Heck, people make entire lives out of "games". Careers are created, maintained, and die, playing "games". People are born, live, and die..in games. It has been said, that all the world...is a game. (Actually, I believe it was "All the world is a stage", but you get what I mean..:) )

So when somebody says Second Life "is just a game", I think they really don't understand. Of COURSE it's a game. But EVERYTHING is a game.

So, here is something I want you to really think about.

Maybe it really IS not whether you win or lose...but HOW....you PLAY...."The Game"!

*smiles, and slowly turns, heading back to his favorite spot for some more playtime

Avatars are avatars..

(sung to the tune of People are People by Depeche Mode)

I have been thinking a lot about Avatars in Second Life recently. Just doing a bit of introspective study of myself and others. I don't know if its just me, or human nature to try and categorize things, but I think I have come up with something.

There is always something dramatic happening around in Second Life. It either starts in Plurk and spills over onto the Grid, or visa versa. It's usually about something that somebody did, or said, or didn't say, etc etc etc. All this Avatar interaction, which is really just an extention of human interaction, is really just different types of people...misunderstanding each other in my humble opinion.

It seems to me, that there are 3 basic types of Avatars (and the people behind them) that are in Second Life.


Type 1. The very serious Avatar

This Avatar takes everything very seriously in Second Life. As serious as they take their Real Lives I would hope, but there is nothing funny, or light hearted about this Avatar at all. Everything these Avatars do and say are done and said with complete seriousness, just as if there were interacting with you in Real Life.


Type 2. The occasional serious but usually light hearted Avatar.

This Avatar takes some things very seriously in Second Life, but also knows that much of it is just for fun. Each Avatar in this catagory has some things they take seriously in Second Life. What does this Avatar take seriously? It could be anything really, but there is something or things they they take very seriously in Second Life, while the rest of it is all for fun, or just ignored.


Type 3. The complete lack of seriousness Avatar.

This Avatar is only interested in fun. Nothing about Second Life is taken seriously at all. They travel within the world of Second Life, and do anything they please, without any regard to anything really. These people can be griefers, although not all of them are. These Avatars can be judgemental, but always cover it by saying "oh, its all in fun". This Type of Avatar will usually move around the Grid in a group. Sometimes you hear them in voice, laughing at what they see, or hear. They may do different Role Plays, try different things out, but all of it is just "playing in the moment". After all, Second Life is "just a game".

(Each one of these "Types" have subcatagories, some of which are way to numerous to list. This is just a simple comparison list for pete's sake! :) )

The above catagories are not judgements, but an an attempt to illustrate a point. It would seem to me that where most of the problems that occur with Avatar interactions is when you get incompatible types of Avatars together. If you put a Type 1 Avatar together with a Type 3, I would predict that they would not get along well. Maybe for a short time...but eventually it will fall apart, usuallly involving drama of some sort. I have even seen two Type 2's have issues, because what each one took seriously was not the same thing.

Maybe the trick is to really identify what Type you are, and surround yourself with like Types?

It does remind me of the E-Harmony commercials you see on TV or hear on the radio. 39 levels of compatibility testing (or something like that) to find your perfect match, or your money back...yada yada yada.

Maybe once Linden Labs is finished moving all the "adult" stuff into a lock box (um...I mean..the ZINDRA SIM), they can come up with a way to indentify your "Type" of avatar, and then they can customize your Second Life experience THAT way too. Just a thought.

So I guess the next question is...what Type are you?

*runs