NO means...what?

Another typical Sunday at the Zanzibar household. I am working with my boys on our weekly clean the house chores. As I am moving kid stuff from the living room (which the boys think is thier closet) to thier rooms, my eye catches something in my youngest sons pile of paper work.

A sticker that read "No Violence is GREAT!"

One the surface this seems perfectly fine, even good.  But something came to my mind that made me think of the phrase "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".

The intention of this little sticker is wonderful. Nobody condones violence. But here is my thoughts on the matter.

I have done a LOT of reading and personal reflection on how our minds work. How we process information, how we establish habits and all that fun stuff. There is one thing that I have read over and over again from many different sources. Our subconscious minds do not understand negatives.

What does that mean? It means that to our subconscious minds, the phrase "No Violence is GREAT!" actually translates into "Violence is GREAT!" Talk about unintended consequences!

This concept, btw, extends into many realms of our everyday lives. Many people work from the position of "Don't do this" or "Don't do that". I like to work from a position of "here is what you CAN do!". I try and deal with my boys that way also. I do point out things that they should not do, and why, but I always alway try and point out what the CAN do! It would seem to me that a life centered around "CAN" is much better than a life centered around "can't".

If you are involved in any sort of compaign, or think you might be in the future, think about this. Instead of telling people what they "shouldn't" do, try and find a way to convey your message in a way that is about what they "should" do.

I think the Beatles stated it in the simplest terms. Instead of "No H8t", maybe it really is "All you need is LOVE".

Happy Sunday Everybody!

It was a typical morning... the Zanzibar household. The children were puttering around the house, my wife was puttering around the kitchen.

We had just finished breakfast, and I had finished gathering up all the little things that they needed to take with them for that day.

I remember standing in my bedroom, reviewing my list in my head. I was in good shape. I was a bit ahead off my usual routine.

As happens so many times in my life, a thought appeared in my head that was a bit out of the normal. Nothing dramatic, just "Everything is all set to go, and I am early. Let's see what is on the news this morning".

I turned on the television. There on my screen, was an image of the World Trade Center. One of the towers looked like it was on fire. Tickers were running across the bottom of the screen, but I did not understand what it was I was looking at.

Then, as I was trying to make out what as going on, the camera on the TV moved focus, locking on to a airliner. I didn't understand why this was significant, so I watched.

I just watched as that airliner flew straight into the second tower.

Stunned is the only word I can think of to describe what I felt at that moment. Questions running through my head..What just happened? Why did that airliner just do that? and a thousand other questions.

I called my wife into the room, and told her what I just witnessed. She looked at the TV, then looked back at me with wide eyes, and I saw all the questions that she had run through her face.

From that point on, I was just numb. I was working at home full time at that time, so I spent the day keeping the TV on, listening to all the reports coming in. I felt like a zombie, just walking around, not really doing much, just trying to process all that I was seeing and hearing.

It is easy to say that day had a profound affect on me. I think that is a given.

You read about days like that day in history books, but there is something different about actually experiencing it, in each of our own personal ways.

I did not have anybody in my immediate family, or immediate circle of friends, that were killed on that day. But in my own way, I consider everybody as part of my extended family. I try and treat all that I meet and know, as if they were part of that extended family. So I did lose people that day, even though I had no idea who they were.

Did the events of that day change my life significantly? I don't think so. It may have clarified a few things, but my life is not significantly different now as it was on September 10th, 2001.

And for that, I would like to send out a monstrous thank you, to all the men and women who serve in our military.

Whether you think the actions overseas are warranted or not, it is THESE people, these VOLUNTEERS, that protect my way of life, and your way of life.

They literally "put their lives on the line" every day, so that we may have our "morning routines" and our "family traditions".

If you know someone who is currently serving, or has served in the military, them that Aldwyn Zanzibar says "Thank you".

If YOU have served, or are serving...


May all of your sacrifices, not be made in vain.

I'm a Big Boy now!

I know it's silly...but up until recently, I rarely shopped for myself in SL. I should clarify that: for my avatar.

Every since I started in SL, I have had help, usually from people I cared about, and felt had a good sense of fashion. Plus I liked hearing a womans point of view.

But recently, I have been striking out on my own more and more. I have always had a "style", and there are just some things I will NOT wear, RL or SL. So even though I would not be able to DESCRIBE my "style", it is one of those "when I see it, I will know" kinda things.

I have had so many changes going on in my life recently that I felt the need to change my "look". Now, before I continue I should tell you, that I don't change my look easily. I get my avatar looking the way I want and I stick with it, because it takes a LOT of time and effort to find a complete look that I can live with, and actually like. So for me to change, it is a BIG deal.

So as I said, I have been "shopping" around. Looking at hair, skin, tattoos, etc. As most of you already know, the selection for men is not nearly as vast as the selections for women, which is fine because men just don't shop for different "looks" as much as women do (unless it's for a party or event or some special thing).

I actually like to shop, but shopping for my own avatar can get frustrating. I really made an effort to not let it get to me this time. I was patient, and kept at it until I found stuff I liked. I admit, I did ask for some help, but only on generalities, such as asking for LM's for tattoo shops and such. Everything that I changed, I picked out all by myself.

So, after all of that, here is what I ended up with: (Click for larger view)

After I put all this together, I decided to "double check" my work. (which is what I tell my children to do all the time). So I asked a few friends what they thought of my new look.

Here is what they said.

Ana Lutetia

Ana: I don't think you have done such a bad job. Your new look makes you look more mature. However (and this is purely a question of personal taste), I vote for 3 day beard skin and, even though I love tattoos, I prefer to see them beneath a shirt, a tee, tank or even a open shirt.

Al: Thanks Ana! Maybe next time I will take you with me..:)

Arcadia Nightfire

Arcadia: Wow. You know what I love most about your look? Your muscular but not in that overdone boxy way that we see so much of in SL. You look much more naturally muscular and toned. This is a shape begging to be photographed. ;)

Arcadia: Also, I must admit that I'm not generally a fan of facial hair but it works on your av. It definitely lends a bit of mystery and sex appeal to your look.

Al: I have been looking for a skin that had a good beard, and I was thrilled with I found this one. Thank you!

Clementine Ishtari

Clemintine: The new look is yummy! I <3 the facial hair, although I'm not usually a facial hair type of girl, but it works for you. You look different from most of the other male avs running around SL who all tend to look the same. Nice shape, not too bulky (cause we all know what too many muscles on a male avatar means) but not too scrawny. Over all? Great new look (tats.. nummy) with just enough uniqueness to make it your own. Three nipples, erm, thumbs up! :P

Al: Awww, thanks Clem! *checks to make sure HE does not have a third nipple

Luna Jubilee

Luna: I'm not one for beating around the bush... you, Al, are a fine hunk of pixelated man meat. The new you is not too shabby. Not that were hard on the eyes before ... but your change is for the better. I'm proud of you for going before so many of us for our thoughts and feedback. Not many can do that willingly ... unless you upt your dumbness. Regardless you're still Al! Luv ya! Great job on the make over :)

Al: Awww..thanks Luna!..I think (unsure)

Magen Jigsaw

Magen: The shape fits well with the skin, and hair. The tattoos are subtle and not too overpowering. Good build on the shape. All around good put together.

Al: :)...thanks! *goes back to SL situps

Risa Bright

Risa: Aldwyn's new look is a twist on the classically- rugged sort of handsomeness. The artistic tattoos are so intricately nuanced that they add an aesthetic sensibility. His new hair has the look of a precision cut that has grown out and now has a casual elegance. It is the new amped-up Aldwyn!

Al: That is quite an answer..Thanks Risa!

Rylan Carling

Rylan: "One of the sexiest men in SL...even after he went shopping alone! How many girls hit on you again while you were out shopping?"

Al: Oh..stop that...some more...;)

Strawberry Singh

Strawberry: I think you look cute, I'm not always a big fan of facial hair on men but it makes you look more manly and rugged. The tattoo is very nice, I like the faded colors and of course I love the jeans! :D Good get a cookie! :P

Al: COOKIE! *nom nom nom. I love the jeans too! I have like 3 or 4 colors. Thanks Berry! *hugs

Given that I know that these women always look absolutly fantastic, I figured I better save myself a ton of questions about what they happen to be wearing, so here are the details.

Ana Lutetia is wearing...

.skin. *League* Skin Suntan -Misty- Emo (BT)
.eyes. :: Exodi :: Vetro Eyes (Grey)(Lg)(NoVeins)
.lashes. *Sin Skins* Fluff Lashes
.hair. fri. - Tabs - Jealous Red
.top. fri. - Boyfriend Beater (Gray) - Top | fri. - Henley Hoodie (Black)
.bottom. *League* Garage Jeans - Straight Leg Fit - Turquoise
.accessories. *No Mercy* Face Piercings | Zaara : Indra painted stacked bangles *silver* | Zaara : Sarayi hoops *color* silver | Reek - I Heart Colors Belt
.shoes. [0N] Engineer Boots Black
.poses. -AnaLu- *fresh poses* | Tillie’s Posing Stand

You can read Ana's blog here, and check out her awesome poses at her shop Here!

Arcadia Nightfire is wearing...

Skin: ::Exodi:: - Shiloh (Honey), Nosferatu
Eyes: ::Exodi:: - Zbilja Eyes, Blue
Hair: Argrace - Fedora Hat Glamourous Wavy, Amber
Manicure: Sin Skins - Glitter Manicure, Crimson
Shirt: Alphamale - Femme, Black
Skirt: Kyoot Army - Scarlet Mobstress Skirt, High Waisted
Corset: Kyoot Army - Austere Corset, Scarlet Stripes
Stockings: Reasonable Desires, Miss Kitty Burlesque Seamed Stockings (part of costume)
Shoes: Pixel Mode - AF Danger, Black (Laced)
Jewelry: Inks & Kinks - Diamond Nostril Stud
Balderdash - Jazz Funeral Merlot Set
Callie Cline - The Rock **Blogger Appreciation Gift**

You can read Arcadia's Fashion 360 blog Here

Clementine Ishtari is wearing...

Skin - *League* Skin Suntan -Misty- Bronzed
Hair - >TRUTH< Meara
Eyes - :: Exodi :: Zbilja Eyes
Eyelashes - Silhouette Lashes: BUTTERFLY
Jacket - **en Svale** Denim Jacket_Indigo
Sweater - Maitreya Savoir Turtleneck Top
Skirt - Maitreya Cleo Jeans Skirt
Boots - Jaywalk: Melisande
Belt - Maitreya Coin Belt

Clemintine has two blogs, which can be read Here and Here

Luna Jubilee is wearing....

hair: Magika Hair - Poof - Blonde A
eyes: CHAI Eyes +Allure+ [BLUE 1]
lashes: MADesigns EYELASHES ~ Diva
skin: LAQ ~ Carina 01 [Fair] Glow skin
jeans: **MIS** EveryDay Jeans - dark wash1
undershirt: [Pink] Di Tube Top (undershirt) - pearl
shirt: [Pink] Poppy Sheer Chiffon Blouse (GIFT) - light green
shoes: Maitreya Gold - IXkin Sienna
ring: ~flirt~ Pizazz Ring :: PLAT/DIA
bracelet: ZC : Sadaf shell bracelet *silver* (hand attach) R
pose: .:StoRin:. P11 Waiting
props: & Trompe L'oeil

Luna has a couple of blogs that you can find here and here. How she finds time for both when she spends sooo much time hassling me, I will never know!

Magen Jigsaw is wearing...

Hair Fri.Day-Deena
Eyes: Poetic Colors- Jungle
Top- ::EmJay::- Teal Off the shoulder top
Jeans- ::EmJay:: Super Dark Ripped Capris
Shoes- SoReals- Brown and Sky

Mags has a great little shop located Here. You should really check it out!

Risa Bright is wearing...

Skin: Laqroki Jessica 03 / Nougat
Hair: Analog Dog.... Lua in Cafe
Eyes: MADesigns: Soul Eyes Blue 5
Nail color: (Kunglers) Nail Polish - green
Skirt: LBD Nell Skirt/ turquoise
Top: Fashion Nomads Couture / "Noir" Underlayer
Boots: BAX Prestige Boots /Black with accent color customized to skirt
Stockings: Sheer Opaque Black
Bracelets: *al* Kiana Silks- Depth Bracelets (color customized to skirt)
Rings: Bandit Jewelers Lady Yellow Gold Combo

Risa does a ton of things in SL, so many that I can not even begin to list them, but I do know it centers around Kmadd mostly.

Rylan Carling is wearing...

Skirt: Nyte'N'Day - Vestige Skirt Spherule SD􀀂
Top:~*RunoRuno!~Hyperkinetic Dress Black􀀁
Jacket:.:Malt:. Fashions - SE Antique Gold Suede Jacket
Hair: TRUTH: Veronica - Black
Rings: Left - P.C; Times Squre Ring - Kyanite - Dark Blue
Right - PD Gemmed Kitty Ring
Boots: BAX Prestige Boots Black Leather

Rylan has a great blog here. You really need to have her on your "must read" list. :)

Strawberry Singh is wearing...

Skin: :: DUTCH TOUCH :: ::CleO:: Olive - Smokey w/freckles by Iki Ikarus
Eyes: Poetic Color Eyes - quicksilver medium by Lano Ling
Eyelashes: Cake - Bedroom Lashes by Stumbelina Ophelia
Hair: (Dernier Cri) Ella - Brown Shades by Asuka Martin
Top: ::EmJay:: Boyfriend Tank- Pink by Magen Jigsaw
Pants: -WMD-"Ronin" Hara Jeans Low Rise Ripped by Maruko Sakigake
Shoes: PornStar Hi-Tops MultiColor v2 by Coke Dreadlow
Bag: **Slanted Fox** Yummy Tote - Strawberry-Vanilla by Riki Yifu
Bangles: Zaara : Indra painted stacked bangles by Zaara Kohime
Necklace: by Zaara Kohime (coming soon)
Pose: Long Awkward Pose by Dove Swanson
Location: Zaara sim

You can read Strawberry's blog Here

She also manages, or something along those lines, over at {Zaara}, which really has some amazing clothes. Find them Here

I suppose since everybody else did, I should spill what I am wearing...

Skin: -Belleza- Jonas SK 6 (bald)
Eyes: Poetic Color Eyes - Ocean/Seaweed by Lano Ling
Shape: RAFAEL by .::MADDesigns:: version 2 (with a bit of custom work by me)
Hair: *ARGRACE* ~ Modern rail ~ (Black)
Tattoo: addiXion - VENOMOUS inkREAL
Pants: Zaara Classic Jeans for men *sky)
Shoes: you cannot see them, but [hoorenbeek] Patagonia Boots- Used Brown

How did this end up being a fashion blog entry? *shakes his head

(a HUGE thank you to all you ladies! You all ROCK!)